We tend to be particularly unaware that we are thinking virtually all the time. The incessant stream of thoughts flowing through our minds leaves us very little respite for inner quiet. And we leave precious little room for ourselves anyway just to be, without having to run around doing things all the time. Our actions are all too frequently driven rather than undertaken in awareness, driven by those perfectly ordinary thoughts and impulses that run through the mind like a coursing river, if not a waterfall. We get caught up in the torrent and it winds up submerging our lives as it carries us to places we may not wish to go and may not even realize we are headed for. Meditation means learning how to get out of this current, sit by its bank and listen to it, learn from it, and then use its energies to guide us rather than to tyrannize us.
I’m sorry I’m not good enough for you. I looked up to you and always listened to you coz you never hurt me. You let me put sweet corn on the hook of the fishing line my big brother. You let me see and stroke your rabbits. You never told tales that weren’t true of me. You let me watch you make cakes as the hymn tunes played on the cassette player, my big sister. I remember so little of you both as you left home to pursue your dreams… Just waited in eager anticipation for you to return so I would feel safe once more.
How can you now discard me so easily? You!? You out of all of them? You two I loved. My heart is saddened yet she is right that mother of yours; blood is thicker than water.